*Knocks on the door to the office of Dr.Julius Erving, or better known in the professional industry as Dr.J*
Dr.J: "Well hello there...it's good to see you again. What's on your mind today?"
- I've reached a dark part of the NBA offseason...I've started to wonder if the New York Knicks could somehow make the NBA Playoffs. I'm serious, it's a terrifying reality.
- Is Terry Rozier aka "Scary Terry" going to continue to use the "Scream mask" reference in Charlotte? He had some legal issues with it (buzzkills) so I wonder if he is going to pick a new Horror film character? We need answers. I feel like Freddy Kruger would be a good new path.
- Boogie getting hurt again is such a buzzkill.
- Do we think that the USA losing their scrimmage to the G-League/Select team was Popp taking a chapter out of Chuck Daly's book when he had the Dream Team "tank" in a scrimmage to send a message? That'd be great, but I'm not convinced.
- I have the Altlanta Hawks dangerously high on my "League Pass Power Rankings" this year.
- I just realized that the Mavericks can put out a lineup next year featuring both Porzingis and Boban. Did they...did they just become the Euro Twin Towers?
- What happens if the Phoenix Suns make the playoffs? Does the NBA just become a post-apocalyptic basketball version of Mad Max Fury Road?
- Here's an offseason HOT TAKE FOR YA... Nickeil Alexander-Walker is going to be the best player of the Pelicans draft class.
- YES, WE JUST WENT THERE (*ducks from objects being thrown at me by Zion/Duke fans).
- I'm fascinated to see what the BACKCOURT (winks) of Darius Garland and Collin Sexton can do this year.
- Why are people forgetting how good Kristaps Porzingis is?
- The longer the Offseason goes on...the more I'm convinced the Warriors are somehow going to be the 4 seed in the Western Conference and then Klay is going to come back possessed.
- I want to bet Gordon Hayward to win Comeback Player of The Year and I need a Las Vegas establishment to take my bet immediately. Or give me a villa....either one would work.
- Seriously, either one of those would work.
- We all need to sit down at King Arthur's Round Table, give coffee's out to everyone and seriously discuss the idea of Rudy Gobert shooting three's this year.
- Lebron is slowly ruining my appreciation for Taco Tuesday. I'm sorry I said it. I think the only way it can be fixed is Tacko Fall has to dunk on Lebron on a Tuesday. I think that's the rules.
- I cannot believe that the Memphis Grizzlies are bringing back the retro Vancouver uniforms. How amazing was the video they put out for the announcement? "Get ready to watch the fur fly" is one of the best slogans I've ever heard. Seriously they need to bring that back and never change it.
(video via Memphis Grizzlies)
- How much money do I have to give Jim Boylen to run out a lineup next year of Coby White, Zach Lavine, Lauri Markkanen, Wendell Carter, and Daniel Gafford... $20?
- The Serbian coach talking trash about Team USA is so fantastic.
- Michael Porter Jr posting Adam Silver's Phone # on Instagram was the best thing. I need a Powerpoint presentation of all of the text messages he received. Thank you for your service.
- I really don't know how to feel about the Orlando Magic next year. It's a thought that keeps me up at night. Are they going to take a step forward or back?
- On that note...PLEASE NBA GODS LET US GET A HEALTHY MARKELLE FULTZ THIS YEAR
- Do we think that Patrick Beverly is spending his offseason preparing his mindset for the upcoming season by playing lockdown defense against 12-year-olds in a public gym? Or does he wrestle cheetahs in the amazon?
- The same question above for Aaron Baynes...
- I am very excited for the Knicks to let the Julius Randle experience run wild.
- I'm pretty excited for Malcolm Brogdon in Indiana.
- I miss Ja Morant highlights.
Dr. J: "Well would you look at that...time's up"